Fighting Back with Truth

I had a panic attack last night.  I wish I could say that this was a rarity; but it has actually been happening quite often since the accident.  Going through a spinal cord injury is like riding a roller coaster.  Some times are easy and carefree and I hardly notice the wheelchair and paralysis.  Other times are filled with anxiety and sadness and all I want to do is escape from what feels like a prison inside my own body.  These ups and downs are HARD for both John and I.  When everything is going well I feel like myself and we function fairly normally.  When I am feeling down or anxious, however, it is almost as though my brain works completely differently.  I lose hope and want to give up this crazy fight. 

One of the hardest parts of all of it is that I never know when my anxious moments are going to strike.  They seem to sneak in and take over while my guard is down.  The only thing to do once the attack as begun is to fight back.  Despite this knowledge, when I am down, fighting back is the last thing I want to do. 

Last night during the panic attack, we parked my wheelchair on the front porch and John sat by my side while I cried and cried and tried to catch my breath.  He didn’t say much, knowing that nothing he said could cure or take away this attack.  What he did say, however, was powerful. He asked me to remember what I know to be TRUE about God, Jesus, myself, and the relationship between the three. 

God is GOOD (Psalm 86:5)

God created us and LOVES us deeply

(Genesis 1:27) (Psalm 139:13-16) (Ephesians 2:4-5)

God is SOVEREIGN (meaning he has complete control over the entire universe)

(Psalm 139:1-4)

God NEVER CHANGES, even when things in our life feel out of control

(Hebrews 13:8)

God makes all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28)

Jesus is the SON of God (John 3:16)

Jesus DIED AND ROSE again to take away our sins

(1 John 4:9-10) (Ephesians 2:1-10)

Jesus’ death gives us HOPE that we will be united with God someday

 (John 3:16) (Ephesians 2:1-10)

NOTHING can separate us from the LOVE of GOD (Romans 8:38-39)

We are like DUST or a WHISPER (Psalm 103:13-16)

We have a God who has already won the battle and has left us with TRUTHS about himself and us that fight harder than we ever could alone.  When I feel anxious, the only thing I can do it meditate on these truths and keep them at the front of my mind.  The lies, anxiety, and hopelessness seem so overpowering sometimes, but God has given me tools to fight with if I am willing to use them. 

Love,

Kaitlin