Boxing Day

It has been a strange Christmas season at the Wanberg household…. Kait and I were figuring out what Christmas looked like as our own family while simultaneously unpacking boxes, planning for the kitchen renovations, and adjusting to life back home.  We have shed our fair share of tears as we remember the months we had in the house with Kaitlin walking, and have laughed heartily as we build new memories and struggle through the adjustments. 

Last Sunday Kaitlin and I were cooking lunch at home; it was nothing special, just a frozen pizza.  Set your timer for 12 minutes Bobby Flay, no skill needed to make this meal.  11 minutes into the cooking time, our oven started smoking furiously due to some gunk which had accumulated in the bottom pan.  We opened the door and fanned it out, but the smoke just kept coming.  Naturally, I decided we could get a more airtight seal out of the oven door if we locked it, so I did.  At this point I need to pause and say that Kaitlin was hungry… not just “I could eat” sort of hungry… more like “FEED ME OR DIE” hungry.  You can imagine my terror when I discovered that our oven door locked smoothly… and then refused to unlock.  I begged, I pleaded, I hauled on the stupid little latch thing, all to no avail.  “GET THE PIZZA!” my wife yelled, to which I responded “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!??!?!?!!  IT IS LOCKED!”  As we bantered back and forth with each other I tried to explain to my hungry wife that I was really on her team.  I also wanted the pizza to be out of the oven, but could not see a solution short of getting out my power tools and cutting a hole in the oven door.  At this point all we had was the faint oven light, revealing to us that our pizza was being baked into a crispy little black hockey puck.  Kaitlin wanted to call 911 – I said no and got out the tools. Fifteen minutes later we had removed the still hot cook-top to get at the locking mechanism, which I cut off… no machine bests John Wanberg and lives.  The pizza looked terrible, but we ate it anyways.  We are still laughing.

The past few weeks have been very difficult.  We have been noticeably delinquent in posting on the blog and communicating with those close to us.  Even so, I want to let you all know that we cannot even express how loved and supported we feel in the midst of our exhaustion.  The outpouring of gifts, money, kind notes, well wishes, and friends willing to listen and grieve with us continues to amaze us.  Life without this support would be dark indeed. 

We cling to the truth of the gospel for strength. When it feels like we can’t do it, we remember Jesus – who being in very nature God, still humbled himself to the point of death on a cross (Philippians chapter 2).  On the days in which we are close to despair, we try to remember how God has used you all to provide for us, and ask him to give us just enough strength, and a little bit of laughter along the way. 

Love,

John

Preparing a Place

Jesus told His disciples, “I am going ahead of you to my Father’s house which has many rooms. There I will prepare a place for you” John 14:2  Although we all believe that Jesus was referring to heaven when he made this statement, I must admit that I am reminded of it each time I enter Kaitlin and John’s newly renovated home. The community which has come together to make it happen has been so inspiring and humbling: packing and emptying the house, demolition, sanding, moving the shed, leveling dirt, laying concrete, countless lunches for work crews, tiling, electric, grouting, refinishing floors, painting, cleaning, mopping, dusting, assembling closet storage units, loading, unpacking, and finally reaching the ‘move in’ day! What a fast and incredible journey this has been.  It could not have happened without your generous financial donations and the volunteers who sacrificed their time and energy to the effort. It feels as if the Lord has had His hand in gathering together a community of workers to serve and help prepare this home for Kaitlin and John; a home which will undoubtedly be a true blessing to them for years to come. We are grateful beyond words.

During the past 10 weeks the upstairs of the house has been transformed from the original 2 bedrooms and small bath to a larger master bedroom, laundry room with front loading washer and dryer, and an enormous, totally accessible bathroom featuring a roll-in shower, his and her sinks (hers with a higher clearance to accommodate the wheelchair), make-up area, accessible bathtub, plenty of storage, natural lighting and beautiful cabinetry.

Frank, our lead contractor and Mark’s long-time friend/CU fraternity brother, graciously offered his services to supervise the project. We feel very indebted to Frank and his hard working crew of subcontractors who have approached this very special construction project with a sense of heartfelt purpose. Frank told us from the start that his objective was to make this home such a great place for John and Kaitlin that they would never want to leave it. Seeing it, we’re certain that will be the case.

A lift, which will help Kaitlin go up the six stairs between the main level and the upstairs, has been provided by Home Builders Assoc (a non-profit specializing in accessibility). Although the kitchen still needs renovation, it is functional and usable and is another project which will begin sometime in mid February.

In addition to the inside changes, a large detached garage has been built in the backyard complete with new wider sidewalks and porches which allow Kaitlin direct access from the garage to the house with no stairs to negotiate.

This home will be a place where Kaitlin can feel comfortable and independent. We are so thankful to everyone who helped to make it possible. Thank you, Lord for preparing this house for John & Kaitlin. 

Pictures to come soon!

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please continue praying for complete and total healing so that Kaitlin may walk again

Protection from flu and respiratory viruses

Effective physical therapy as Kaitlin adjusts to having had her back brace removed.

Gentle transition back home for both Kaitlin and John

Softened hearts as we all make our way through the grieving process

The Lord to help us through our loss and sadness and bring us ultimately to a place of healing and acceptance

Love, Sue 

Me or Him?

As most weeks have been in this season, this past week has been a mixture of wonderful & challenging. I have come to a realization recently that has brought a certain amount of freedom to my soul when I am sitting in the midst of the chaos: it's either about me, or it's about God. What I mean by that is quite simple-and yet somehow, evokes a daily war within. When people say, "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle-you must be incredibly strong"-I think most times they say that to encourage me & my character and while well received...it doesn't make much sense to me these days. 

You see, I don't believe that God puts something on our plate with the intention of pushing us to the end of our rope, just to see how much we can handle. I also don't believe that it's about what I can handle or can't handle. To me, it seems to make much more sense to just trust that whatever happens on this earth, I have the God of the universe on my side. He will never leave me or forsake me. He walks with me through whatever comes up. The realization is: it's about Him. It's about His consistency & faithfulness. He is sovereign over every ounce of what happens during my lifetime--and he works all things together for His glory. It's not really about me, about my family or about our circumstances. It's really about the plan that he has for our lives and for the lives around us. I find that I'm quick to analyze the things happening around me & my family and wonder things like-when will it end? when will our luck change? when will things be easier or comfortable again? so many hard things have happened in the last couple months to John & Kait...they are bound to have something good happen, right?

Actually....wrong. Do I hope that this season is followed by a season of abundance & joy & comfort for my family? Absolutely. Do I believe that we deserve that, or that somehow our "luck" is about to change? Not really. Who knows? Reality is, we could have this season of endless challenges last the rest of our lives. Frankly, I don't think it's even about that at all. My deepest prayer in this moment is that our family is a family who believes with the deepest longings of our souls that what goes on in this life, is about the God of the universe-and not about us. Would you pray this over us in this time?

This week John & Kait + the rest of the Wanberg's & Daniel and I were fortunate enough to attend a dear friend's wedding (pictures below-congrats again to Sue & Tom! We love you!) and celebrate Thanksgiving together at the Rice's house. Both were joyous celebrations of life & the immense blessings the Lord has poured upon us. We sat around the table on Thanksgiving evening after a long walk together around the neighborhood & shared what we are most thankful for. Craig & the incredible staff that took care of Kaitlin, a family who is united when it would be so easy to be enveloped by stress & turn against one another, a community who is not afraid of our burdens-but gladly bears them with us. We are thankful for warm meals that were intentionally thought out and delivered, for Kaitlin's life and for Kait & John's marriage. We are thankful for warm homes, for the resources that we have been given & blessed with. We are thankful for the life of my sweet Grandma Jeanne & Mark's brother, Dennis. We spoke freely about the joys we have experienced over the last year, and about the hardships that we have fought & are fighting. At the end of our conversation, we ate pie & ice cream, had a family sing-along in the living room and laughed deeply.

We most certainty serve a generous and gracious God. 

Prayer requests: 

• Pray that Kaitlin's panic attacks will go completely away
• Pray that getting her brace off on Monday will go smoothly [she is sooooo excited!]
• Pray that John & Kait would have a smooth transition into their newly renovated home when they begin to move in in the next couple weeks
• Pray for Kait as she goes to visit her students next week & prepares to begin teaching again part time in January
• Pray for the complete healing of Kait's spine-that she may walk again!

We appreciate each of you & your commitment to fighting for & walking with us....you are truly treasured by each member of our family.

We love you!

-Carolyn

Almost cute...

The Wanberg side {minus Daniel who joined us later}

We were early to the wedding & this is what happened with our extra time...

Fighting Back with Truth

I had a panic attack last night.  I wish I could say that this was a rarity; but it has actually been happening quite often since the accident.  Going through a spinal cord injury is like riding a roller coaster.  Some times are easy and carefree and I hardly notice the wheelchair and paralysis.  Other times are filled with anxiety and sadness and all I want to do is escape from what feels like a prison inside my own body.  These ups and downs are HARD for both John and I.  When everything is going well I feel like myself and we function fairly normally.  When I am feeling down or anxious, however, it is almost as though my brain works completely differently.  I lose hope and want to give up this crazy fight. 

One of the hardest parts of all of it is that I never know when my anxious moments are going to strike.  They seem to sneak in and take over while my guard is down.  The only thing to do once the attack as begun is to fight back.  Despite this knowledge, when I am down, fighting back is the last thing I want to do. 

Last night during the panic attack, we parked my wheelchair on the front porch and John sat by my side while I cried and cried and tried to catch my breath.  He didn’t say much, knowing that nothing he said could cure or take away this attack.  What he did say, however, was powerful. He asked me to remember what I know to be TRUE about God, Jesus, myself, and the relationship between the three. 

God is GOOD (Psalm 86:5)

God created us and LOVES us deeply

(Genesis 1:27) (Psalm 139:13-16) (Ephesians 2:4-5)

God is SOVEREIGN (meaning he has complete control over the entire universe)

(Psalm 139:1-4)

God NEVER CHANGES, even when things in our life feel out of control

(Hebrews 13:8)

God makes all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28)

Jesus is the SON of God (John 3:16)

Jesus DIED AND ROSE again to take away our sins

(1 John 4:9-10) (Ephesians 2:1-10)

Jesus’ death gives us HOPE that we will be united with God someday

 (John 3:16) (Ephesians 2:1-10)

NOTHING can separate us from the LOVE of GOD (Romans 8:38-39)

We are like DUST or a WHISPER (Psalm 103:13-16)

We have a God who has already won the battle and has left us with TRUTHS about himself and us that fight harder than we ever could alone.  When I feel anxious, the only thing I can do it meditate on these truths and keep them at the front of my mind.  The lies, anxiety, and hopelessness seem so overpowering sometimes, but God has given me tools to fight with if I am willing to use them. 

Love,

Kaitlin

The Bread of Life

In John chapter 6 Jesus accuses his followers of seeking Him not to hear his message, but simply because he gave them bread to eat and made sure their stomachs were full. He basically said that the only reason they wanted to have anything to do with him was because he solved one of their worldly problems which was hunger.  Although they denied it, I think that for many of the followers, Jesus' accusation was accurate. Why? Because I fight this tendency daily. 

This new life that I face is filled with incredible challenges. I can put on a happy face and pretend that everything is ok, but in reality, I want to be healed so badly. I want to be able to walk and run and hike and dance. I want to be able to get dressed or go to the bathroom like a normal person.  I could never have fathomed the frustration that stems from this type of an injury. Everything is different...more difficult...and I just want to be normal.  

I ask The Lord every day to heal me, but in reality, he is not a magic genie.  Jesus did not come to make every challenge or hardship or struggle go away.  He did not come so that my life would be simple or comfortable. His purpose in coming here was to bring glory to himself. If I treat him like a genie and seek Him for the sole purpose of solving my problems, he does not receive glory in my life. If I shift my mindset, however, and realize that by coming here Jesus has given me HOPE and the ability to stand up underneath all of these frustrations even if they are never healed or solved, the result is praise towards him.

Jesus is not my personal magic genie. Nor would I want Him to be. He is the SON of the GOD of the UNIVERSE.  He is the bread of life. He is everything.  Eat of His flesh and drink of His blood and we will be saved. He came to save my soul and to give to me the bread of life so that even under the weight of paralysis and all of the frustrations stemming from it, I will be FULL. I will be SAVED. I will have the strength to STAND. 

My response to this will always be praise. What an awesome and eternal God we serve. 

Love, Kaitlin

I'm Free! {A post by Kaitlin}

I’m Free! I’m Free!  Yesterday we moved from Craig hospital into a hotel just a few miles down the road.  Since then we have been enjoying this “freedom” to the fullest! Our hotel happens to share a parking lot with Chili’s AND a movie theater; so John and I obviously enjoyed both last night.  Today we took a quick visit to our home in Aurora and then headed up to Boulder!

 What a joy it was to be able to leave my residence without having to worry about notifying doctors, nurses, pharmacy techs, etc..  I won’t say this new freedom has been free of bumps and bruises; but the JOY I am experiencing to be living life outside of the hospital’s yoke far outweighs the struggles.

This new stage reminds me that freedom isn’t easy.  Even freedom in Christ isn’t EASY…no one said it would be, but it is JOYFUL.  We are set FREE to live life fully by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Seize this freedom that has been given to us along with the bumps, bruises, hardships, and overwhelming JOY that it offers. 

I am looking forward to exploring this new life the Lord has given me.  I am FREE!

“Who the Son sets free is free indeed”  Romans 8:36

Love, Kaitlin

Good Shots

These pictures are overdue to be posted-Mark, I apologize for the delay in getting them on the blog! 

Kait and her Dad went hunting a few weeks ago and from what I've heard-all the guys on the trip were incredibly impressed with Kaitlin's shot. Once again, she proves how hard-core she is! Our side of the family was in Chicago when John got a text with the first picture (below) in it....he promptly showed it to everyone around us with pride. 

Mark writes this about their trip: 

Here are a few shots from last weekend (pun

Intended). It was huge Fun. I would never have
dreamed we would be hunting. Praise God for
healing, and for all the great people he's gifted to
bless us. Mark