Worth the Fight

Our family has been spending quite a bit of time in the book of Job lately.

Job is described as a man who was "blameless and upright" and one who "feared God and turned away from evil." Satan came to God questioning and challenging the seemingly effortless faith that Job had in His goodness and sovereignty saying, "you have blessed the work of his (Job's) hands, and in his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face." Although I am certain that He did not need to prove anything to the enemy, The Lord allowed Satan to test his faithful servant.


In the following chapters, we get a window into the immense suffering, pain, and anguish that was brought upon Job. Many times, Job wishes that he has never been born and even curses the day that his life began. All this to say...Job maintains his integrity. He says, "my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit. Far be it from me to say that you are right; till I die I will not put away my integrity from me. I hold fast my righteousness and will not let it go; my heart does not reproach me for any of my days." Living in pain and suffering greater than he can imagine....through Job, the Lord instructs us to trust in Him above all else.

Job's friend Eliphaz says to Job, "for he wounds and binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal." Kaitlin's vertebrates have been shattered and her body undeniably wounded. We found out a few days ago that John does indeed have type one diabetes. The stress of the last month has brought out the symptoms of his diabetes, but not caused it...meaning this life change is completely separate from Kaitlin's accident. From a beautiful wedding, to the unfathomable trenches. Yet, the same hope that was so apparent when they took their vows on that beautiful day in June is just as apparent today as they lay in the hospital bed together. We hope in HIM. We trust in Him. We wake up each morning and remind ourselves that "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

As John mentioned in his last post, we don't know why this happened or how to answer the question, "did the Lord do this to Kaitlin?" What we do know? He binds up. He heals. He makes all things new. Today, tomorrow, in a year, in 5 years, at the end of our lives when we go to be with him in heaven. We are confident that who God is does not depend on who we are or what we are going through.

In John & Kait's wedding, my husband Daniel & Kait's sister Megan sang the hymn "Help my Unbelief." They lyrics say, "I would but cannot rest in God's most holy will; I know what He appoints is best and murmur at it still." It is hard to believe y'all. This morning, as I read about Job and his anguish and mourn Kait and John's anguish...it is hard to believe. My heart finds peace in this: it is so worth the fight.

One of my kindergarten students had a cut on his finger the other day and asked for a bandaid. While I was putting it on him, he said casually (and with complete confidence), "Mrs. Thompson, God is going to heal this cut."The only thing I could do was scoop him up in a giant hug and tell him thank you for the reminder. Let's pray to have faith like a child.

I'm praying over all of us this morning...all of us who resonate with this very real feeling of unbelief. That we would confess this to the one who pursues and loves us best. That we would find hope in His son-sent by the Father so that we could have life. There is no greater love! There is no greater hope.

Kait has her off-campus pass and has been to Caribou coffee, the Copper Pot for dinner and to the park. She is processing, fighting, praying and living with integrity. She is making friends who she is already loving & serving so well. She is working on transfers from the bed to her chair and back. She is SO good at finding pockets of joy. She is ready to get her knee brace off and to move rooms so John can start to stay with her at night and so they can have alone time to spend together without a roommate. She is watching Broncos games with passion. She is still giving me wise and much needed advice on things going on in my life. She is taking care of John as he figures out how to deal with diabetes. They are working it y'all. Keep the prayers coming.....we all need them!

Thanks for reading my reflections & fighting along with us.

Love,
Carolyn